I came across this humorous resume on Reddit, and I thought it was a good Friday laugh for everybody. I especially like the reference to the Excel spreadsheets, as that is so damn true sometimes.

Happy Friday!

Here’s a little car wash humor to cap off your Sunday (at my expense of course):

We had just gotten back from a ski trip in North Carolina, and our car was pretty filthy. Of course, my wife couldn’t leave the car in this condition for more than 30 seconds, let alone the next day, so on the way back we stopped at an auto-wash near our apartment. It’s also worthwhile to note two things here:

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The breakroom is the social center of the office. Some of the most important things in the office reside there, such as: the microwave, the refrigerator, the snack machine, the TV, and the soda machine to name a few. However, because of this, there is one serious downside: The smells. Yes, most of us are familiar with the various awful smells that can inhabit the breakroom, but which ones are the worst? Here are my top five:

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When you think of a wallet, what are some uses that come to mind? Storing credit cards? Money? Maybe keeping some pictures in there? These are all common uses, however I have a new one to suggest: Projector stand. Yeah, it sounds crazy, but it happened to me today.

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In the bathroom as we’re both “hard at work”….

Random work guy: “Hey, how’s it going?”
Me: “…..good…”
Random work guy: “Yeah, so, what a day, huh? Pretty busy.”
Me: “…yeah…”
Random work guy: “So what are you doing this weekend?”
Me: *sigh*

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Here’s a common myth that plagues pretty much every office I’ve ever been to: Everybody appreciates a good joke. While we may desperately want this to be true, it’s just not the case. While it may be a genuinely funny joke, it just might not fly in an office environment. Even if you think it’s the funniest joke since the “I’m Rick James” era (which, by the way, is OVER), you should definitely consider saving it for after work during the following three situations:

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This is a new segment that I’ll be running from time to time which will highlight some the better posts stored in the Workplace Life archives.

Here are three posts that you should check out:

1. How To Fail Successfully - Failing successfully? As crazy as it sounds, there is a right way and a wrong way to fail.

2. Top 5 Resume Mistakes - The top five resume mistakes I’ve come across (and a bonus sixth one), a good read if you are currently polishing up your resume or writing one for the first time.

3. What You Really Say At Work - There are two languages spoken at work: What you actually say, and what you mean to say. Here are a few translations for your reading pleasure.

At most workplaces today, each employee is required to have some kind of ID badge. Usually worn on a lanyard or clip, it has to be on your person at all times and can also be used to access certain areas of the office, or even provide access to the office itself. Essentially, they have become integral to our everyday routine. Here’s the kicker: Because they are so important to you, they almost always are difficult to replace. Following that logic, because they are so difficult to replace, it is inevitable at some point that you will lose yours. This brings us to the subject of this post: Funny ways to lose your badge.

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There is a disturbing trend developing that is so insidious, so nefarious, and so EVIL that it seems to be flying under most good citizens radar. What could it possibly be? Do we need a young priest and an old priest? Does it live at Camp Crystal Lake? (Time to build more suspense)….

(Building…)

(Building……)

(BUILDING……..)

The trend that I’m talking about is when guys tuck their shirt into their pants and don’t wear a belt. I felt dirty just writing that.

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The Conference Call is a universal staple of almost any workplace. They happen often, and can range from being inconsequential to being the most important event in your universe. This leads to literally thousands of situations that can arise, some of which are bound to be funny.

With this in mind, I’d like to present the following conference call bloopers:

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