Ah, the wonders of modern technology. Went to see the doctor, she prescribed me some fantastic medication, now I’m on my way to full recovery. In celebration, I have written two new articles, see below:

• Since I haven’t published a Humor article in a while, I thought that it would be a good idea. The result is a personally embarrassing story, see it here: Tales of the Metro: Watch the Feet!.
• See Basic Excel Functions - SUM, for a quick how-to on using one of the most commonly used Microsoft Excel functions, SUM.

To continue in our “Tales of the Metro” series, I thought I would share a story that is personally embarrassing on many levels.

I had just moved to DC, and had been riding the Metro for about 2 weeks. Obviously, this made me a professional Metro rider. Not only did I know the Metro system inside and out, but I could also look down my nose at those “tourists” who always got in the way of real Metro riders. How wrong was I? Let’s just say that “exponentially” doesn’t begin to cover it.

So I’m getting off of work and rushing to make my train home. A little explanation here, I have to take a certain line because it is the only one that services the stop next to my apartment. If I miss it, I could be in for a 10 minute wait. Going to work? Not so big a deal. Coming home? No way was I missing that train. I rush down the escalator, my laptop wildly swinging behind me, threatening to take out all of the elderly people clutching to the railing (it’s a pretty steep escalator). I vault down to the platform where my train comes in. If I had a pommel horse, I’m pretty sure it would have rated at least a 7/10.

My train was just about to shut its doors so I stuck my foot in the door. It was at this point that I learned that the Metro doors are NOT PRESSURE SENSITIVE. They shut like a vise grip on my foot, there was that much pressure on it. I let out a stream of curses that would make the devil blush. The people on the train are staring at me like I was crazy. I could see the exact thought that was running through their mind: “F****** tourist”. It was humiliating. Finally, after much prying and prodding, I wrenched my foot out of the door and the doors shut.

Predictably, this was just in time for a gaggle of other Metro riders to form up behind me, whom I promptly crashed into. My laptop went flying, there were curses, I’m pretty sure I saw a shoe go tumbling somewhere, complete disaster. My own shoe was obviously pretty disgusting at this point, as the Metro doors are not the cleanest pieces of equipment in the world. Disheveled and dirty, I slowly gathered up my shattered possessions (including my dignity) and slunk off to a corner to wait for the next train.

What is the moral of the story?

1. The Metro doors are NOT PRESSURE SENSITIVE. I cannot stress this enough.
2. There’s always something new to learn riding on the Metro.
3. I hate those freaking tourists.

This is the first article I will be writing on some basic Microsoft Excel functions that are commonly used. This article will highlight how to use the SUM function.

The SUM function is pretty basic: It will add up whichever numbers and/or range of numbers that you specify, and output that result to a cell where the formula is contained. This is probably the most commonly used formula in Excel, so it is a good idea to know how to use it.

There are a couple of ways that you can insert this function into a cell. I have listed them below:

1. Type the function directly into the cell.
2. Use the Insert Function shortcut, which opens up the Function Wizard.
   
3. Use the Function Wizard via Insert -> Function….
   

For this article, I will be explaining the first method, that of typing the formula directly into the cell. I think that this is easier than using the Function Wizard for the SUM function. You should play around with the wizard to see if that is the case for you.

To begin, when entering a formula into a cell, you need to preface the formula with the “=” sign. Otherwise, Excel will interpret the formula as text instead of a formula.

For the SUM formula, the basic structure looks like this:

=SUM(number1, number2,…)

In this case, you could enter actual numbers for “number1, number2″ or cell references. Here are some examples:

• =SUM(1,2) - This would add “1″ and “2″ and come up with a total of “3″. It should also be noted that if you put quotes around a number in the formula (like it was text), the number will still be interpreted as a number.
• =SUM(A1,A2) - This would add the value in cell A1 to the value in cell A2 to come up with the total.

Alternatively, you can sum a range of cells. For example:

• =SUM(A1:A3) - This would add the values in cells A1 through A3 to come up with the total.

Lastly, you can combine these two methods. This is shown below:

• =SUM(A1:A3,A2,1) - This would add the values of cells A1 through A3 to the value in cell A2, as well as add the number “1″ in order to get the total.

This is a simple overview of how to use the SUM function, mainly because it is a very easy function to use. I would say that I use this function in about 90% of the spreadsheets I create, so I think it’s well worth it to take the time to learn how to use implement it with ease.

Yes, put a red “X” on the door of my apartment, I think I have the plague. Hence, there was no update yesterday since I was in bed pretty much all day. I managed to squeeze out a Tip of the Day for today, and I hope to get at least one article up by this afternoon. I apologize for the lack of updates, and I promise to make it up to you as soon as I feel better.

• Check out today’s Tip of the Day on Eating a Balanced Breakfast, and eliminate those tiresome lunch hunger pains.

Also, I noticed that sometimes when you register it can take a long time for your password to get sent to your email. If this is the case, email me directly at kevin.augustine@gmail.com with what you want your password to be and I’ll change it manually.

Breakfast is something that has become a major staple in my day. Not only am I less ravenous by lunch time, but I have a lot more energy in the morning than I had before. Don’t get me wrong, I am far from my soap box. I used to never eat breakfast. However, I started up a few months ago eating a bowl of cereal (with ground flaxseed, loaded with omega-3 and omega-6, trust me they are good for you), and usually an apple or an orange. The difference in how I felt in the morning was huge. It made me much more productive in the morning than usual, simply because I felt like I had energy. Also, as stated above, if for some reason it takes the bite out of those lunch hunger pains, making it not such a big deal if you can’t eat lunch at your usual time. It also stopped me from pigging out at lunch.

I’m going to write an article on eating healthy at work, but for now, start with eating a balanced breakfast in the morning. You should notice the difference almost immediately.